Her and my story, our story !!

 It was two o'clock in the night. I was about to sleep after finishing my college project. Just then, the phone rang. 

I didn't think it was necessary to pick up the call because who called at this late night, it would only disturb my sleep. I was forced to pick up the call as there was some important work. Was a little surprised to receive a call from an Australian number with a +61 code. I picked up the call and just said hello, but the call was disconnected. Call me sometimes.
 I thought Arpan should have done it.

 Opened the messenger and looked. He also called 5-6 times on messenger. I immediately called him. As soon as the call was picked up, he started shouting, "How long is it going to take to pick up the phone?" He wondered why he was saying this without realizing that it was two o'clock in the morning. I was about to speak. My eyes were fixed on him. I looked at him.

 Baisakh 1.
 Tribhuvan International Airport. Where I met him for the last time before going to Australia. His beard was trimmed and he was spotted. I saw a special happiness in him because he was about to go to the city of his dreams. His eyes were trying to tear. Tears were looking for a way to flow. Why did he stay away from his family and go abroad to keep his eyes open?

Last time when we called a month ago, he was a little fatter and looking better than before. He was telling that he could not call because of the work load. But today, his face did not have that glow. It was not happiness. The eyes were dark. The long hair and bushy beard did not suit him at all. He looked as if he had no strength in his emaciated body. I was speechless seeing his condition and kept looking at his strange face. I started asking if he was sick or what happened. He reluctantly said that he was sick due to the workload. But I felt that his situation and what he said did not match. His speech felt like he was faltering. I was used to his habit of being surprised when he lied, that's why I didn't believe what he said. My attempts to force the truth out of his mouth continued and he wanted to continue his lies. After a while he cried and saw me watching.

 I was looking at him in terror. He was still crying with tears flowing from his eyes. He was crying even though I tried to stop him. I was speechless seeing him crying like this because I had never seen him cry like this till today. Maybe it's because we have known each other since we were studying as bachelors. I know him as a person who solves every problem by himself but today the question why he suddenly broke down like this is bothering me.

He is silent today. is inactive. It is sad. His pains are coming out through his eyes. Many times the unexpressed expressions in his eyes which are trying to come out in words but why he doesn't tell me is bothering me. After a while he calmed down. He asked him to give him time to tell his problem. He was reluctant for a moment but his stubbornness did not last long and he started telling his story.

 Baisakh 1. 
New year New passion. New joy. Everyone was gathering with family and friends to celebrate their happiness. I was staying away from them for my future. The steps were getting heavier as they progressed. Some were returning to their country and some were migrating abroad. Seeing the sight of my sister crying, my step may not have moved forward. Baba was not crying. Baba was smiling lightly but I could see the silence hidden in that smile. Even though he was laughing outside, Baba was crying inside. He should not cry for me as a son. He was teaching that you should learn to take care of yourself. They were leaving theirs outside and entering me.

 I didn't want to go, but since I was born in Nepal, I had to go abroad. I also thought that someone would catch me. But unfortunately, I was going abroad, leaving behind my friends who were holding me back, giving me support in my sorrow.

I remembered and picked up the phone, "Baby, I'm about to go now. I'll call you soon." said She said yes and started crying. I couldn't contain myself and put the phone down. He barely caught himself. His heart was broken by his cry, his eyes started watering and he headed towards the rest room. He sat there for a while and cried. I wanted to scream and cry and ask God if this is life after all. But alas, I could neither scream nor ask God.

 I wanted to sit there and cry until I died. But what to do is not what you want. It was time for my flight. He looked at all the faces as much as his eyes. Everyone was sad and silent. Looking at those faces who are giving up their happiness in the present for the sake of happiness in the future, he managed himself as much as possible.

 Finally landed in Melbourne, Australia after a 10-15 hour journey. A dream city where the future is to be made. The happiness left with the family is to be made sky high again. I arranged to stay with my friend for a couple of weeks, so he arranged accordingly. Since college was starting in a week, I had plenty of time to move around. I told home that I was fine and would call tomorrow due to jet lag. And he informed his beloved that he had arrived. I don't know how long I fell asleep due to exhaustion. I woke up the next morning and started looking for a room. After 3 days of tireless efforts, I managed to find a room.

As God said, he got a job within a few days of getting a room. He started studying cyber security at the Melbourne Institute of Technology (MIT). Slowly I got into the atmosphere there.
 May 16 means Monday 16th of June. I was very happy as I was going to send my first earnings of my life to my family. It seemed that now I have grown up too. I will pay off all the house loans soon. I will remove the burden from your father's shoulders soon. I will return that mother's torn bodice. I will buy mobile and scooty for my sister. I was also successful. One leg was raised. Now the remaining legs had to be climbed. This first month went well despite the ups and downs. Everyone was happy that the money was sent home. Mami was talking about using that money to pay her uncle's debt. I was happy because I understood the duty of being a son. But I did not even imagine that my happiness would be looked upon badly and would be a disaster in a moment.

 The next morning, I woke up to my sleep. I looked at my mobile with a fresh look, and a message came from my lover, that is, from Ritu. My hands were shaking when I opened the message. There was darkness in front of my eyes. The heart was beating at the speed of a bullet train. Breathing was becoming difficult. I don't know when I cried. It was written in the message that our relationship will end from today and also she has blocked me. I called him on my phone but could not contact him as he was blocked everywhere.
I don't know where I made a mistake. I really loved him. Immovable and selfless. But I don't know why you came today and kicked my love. What is missing in my love. The promise to live together and die together became meaningless. When we were together, I used to say that I can't leave you for a moment, but today I was away for a month, she threw me away from my life. I stopped him and asked, "Didn't you try to contact him?" It was not possible to contact me because I was blocked everywhere. Even when I tried from my friend, I couldn't get in touch. I also asked her friend Seema, but she also said that she has not had any contact with her for 1 week. After that, my heart became more scared. Even if he broke off my relationship suddenly, how could I forget him and move on? Asked friends who knew him about him but could not find out anything. His friend Seema said that his house was locked a few days ago and his family had gone somewhere.

 After that, it was enough to die of love. Who doesn't get mad when 2-3 years of love suddenly ends without any reason? I started to feel alone. I also stopped liking work. I could not concentrate even in studies. He stopped calling at home as well. The housekeeper started complaining why he is not calling now. He pretended that he was very busy with work and was slightly unwell. How to say that your son is sick of love disease, he is deprived of happiness and lonely because of love. Days passed. Happiness in my life was like a guest for a few days. Pain became my burden. I was getting thinner day by day. He started taking alcohol to forget the pain. However, until it is eaten, it forgets the sweet memory. My studies were deteriorating. I stopped wanting to go to college. His memories kept haunting him every time. At present, he was hospitalized due to excessive alcohol consumption.

He was discharged from the hospital on Sunday evening, June 11, and called home. He said that he went to the hospital because of some stomach problem. But how to say that the heart is injured rather than the stomach. Ritu's memories came to besiege what was just talking at home and holding the phone. After all, who noticed our relationship? Just then, the messenger rang. He opened it and saw a message from his friend Sima. In that message, there is a photo of Ritu's wedding.

I couldn't think of anything. There was darkness in front of my eyes. I did not know when I reached the top floor. Tears were falling from the eyes. If he did not think about the importance of my tears while alive, then what was the importance of my tears when he was about to end his life. I reached the side. He was ready to be a martyr in love. It used to be like pretending that people would die in love, but today, seeing their own past, it has started to seem true.
 I was planning to jump from the roof without thinking about my family, father, mother. But it is easy to die. Neither birth nor death is in our hands. I was up and down the road. When I looked at the road, I saw a sad scene of my father and sister crying at me.

 I returned from there and came to my room and started drinking to forget my pain. I didn't realize it was morning while crying. He had some alcohol left and drank it and went to college. This life accustomed to collisions did not feel new to me even when the college suspended me for a week. At home, he avoided saying that he had a week of college vacation..

Saying that to forget one thing in life, you have to take the help of another, he emptied the bottle of wine he kept next to him. He lay down where he was sitting and while he was drinking alcohol, my jagir also went away.... He started shouting saying "Pakh na talai" and he fell asleep in that noise. I stared at him speechless. Where has that ever-present smile on his face gone? Where did the happiness of his life go? Where did the offering I knew go? Today he seems like a stranger to me. He who is happy in love is now intoxicated with alcohol...

 The last time he was with him in Kathmandu, he was still afraid. But today, even though he is the same character, his story has become an interesting tragedy. Today he has lost his life in the stake of love and he has become fearless. Is love here? Such is the fate of those who love. My friend could not say these things and I have become his voice today through this confession. If it reaches you from such a place, think about its condition.